Just me

I suppose I'm a fairly lonely dude.

Maybe it's actually a pattern. I work a job that requires me to be on the computer a lot. Then my other job is delivering packages; where I have to spend most of that time by myself on the route. Then my other job is delivering pizzas; where I spend most of that time in my truck.

Before that, I was a youth minister; and while I thought that would be lots of relationship-driven work; I remember spending a lot of that time by myself. Before that, I did a lot of radio work; I spend that time by myself in a studio. I do music; but I'm not in a band; I'm a solo artist. I'm an actor; but I'm not in a play or a cast; I'm auditioning for commercials and stuff on my own.

I wonder if I just naturally put myself in situations and so on where I am by myself?

I went to my college's homecoming earlier this year; and someone remarked that I would frequently do these "disappearing acts" where I just wouldn't be around for weeks at a time. I found this so curious because we all lived on campus; and I was always "there" but maybe I naturally withdrew.

I generally like myself as a person, but I don't like THIS about myself. Because I do like people; and I think that everyone has a unique story. But that probably doesn't come across if I'm always by myself.

I wonder if I changed my habits and did things completely different; if I'd ever get anything done.

And what is it that I'm actually doing now?