So I was at this hip-hop show this past weekend, and a girl introduced herself to me and asked me a few questions. Then she put it out there that she thought I was cute and that I should take her phone number and that we should do lunch sometime. Well, this is very flattering and I appreciate the kind of guts it takes to do this. But I can't help but realize how this is a turnoff for me.
It's kind of like when you were younger and you had plans of being lazy one weekend and you find out that your parents have planned your weekend out for you. I kind of felt like that. Maybe that's a little extreme. But what I mean is; I need to feel like I am the one who started it. Do you know what I mean?
In some odd way, I feel as though my manhood was robbed. I didn't get a chance to "notice" her. Make up my mind about her. Think of something to say. Gather the courage to talk to her. Any of that. And in some weird way, that's part of it. There is this whole mental and emotional process that I would normally go through that just got completely skipped. And it isn't beneficial for either of us.
I guess it goes back to the first time this ever happened to me. I was in 9th grade. In honors english. When I was in 9th grade; I had only asked a girl out once in my life; that was a year ago. So I was really inexperienced in such things. Well this girl was sitting next to me in class; and basically did the same thing. She put her intentions out there. She wrote her number down and gave it to me; and told me that I better call her THAT day. Well, what the heck? Call her for what? I didn't know? What were we going to talk about?
Well anyway, I guess it is the 1st century and maybe women can be a lot more forward now then before. And I know sometimes I'm chicken and won't say anything or approach a woman. But when I do gather the courage and the strength to step forward; it's a lot better. I would encourage women to not rob men of that chance to be that guy. I know that if I feel like I have some kind of control over it and am not being forced or led into it; I am more excited about it and will put more energy into it; because my interest level is greater. There is a very long tangent I could go into here but I won't.
If a woman was into me; and I didnt notice her; she should make me notice. Not by forcing herself onto me. "Ok, we're going out soon!" But maybe; I don't know. I remember in college, I was talking to this girl. She was really attractive. Was asking me all kinds of questions about myself. And I'm just oblivous to it all. And she ends it with "well, if you ever want to talk to someone; you can talk to me. You know; just whenever. I'm available to talk." And I thought to myself, oh that's cool. And she said again "Yeah, anytime you wanna talk." And I guess I thought to myself; "Oh cool, I'll just see her around sometime, and we can talk if I see her. Get caught up or whatever." I didn't think that I should get her number or anything.
I think I've told this story before on this blog; but I think it is relevant again in this instance.
But yea, now that I'm older; I would rather a girl give me a chance to think that I am in control of how things are unfolding rather than try to impose her will onto me in a blatant and obvious way.
Do you know what I mean? Am I way off base?