So this morning, I went with Brandon and Garrett to some random lake in order to try out Brandon's new jetski. I'd never been on a jetski before, so I was excited to give it a shot. Well, after proceeding to dangerous velocities  ; we somehow tipped the jetski completely over and all 3 of us fell off. So that was unexpected; we had to swim to a nearby shore while simultaneously pulling the freakin' jetski. Pretty awesome so far...

So we get to the shore; and completely at random we see a large GOAT and a PIG just sitting there looking at us. Why were they there? who knows. Apparently they are there all the time. How did we learn this? Stay tuned. So as we are at this rocky shore, Garrett is using a gatorade bottle to try and get the water out of the jetski and I am anchoring it with a rope. The pig begins to approach behind me! Is it a nice pig? Is it vicious? Will he charge at me in a menacing fashion? I didn't know the answers to these questions. Thankfully, the pig backed off.

So eventually we decided to flag down someone to tow us back to shore. And we get picked up by a group of people who were actually coming over to feed the pig! We found out later that they feed it a couple of times a week. They are on the lake a lot. Anyway, so I think a couple of the adults on the boat were full on drunk and the others were somewhat buzzed. AND I didn't see it but Garrett says one of the kids had a beer. we're talking maybe 9 and 12 years old.

Moving on, so the first conversation I overheard upon entering their boat was "No, I didn't show my boobs; but I don't think there is anything wrong with it! If you got 'em, flaunt em!" One guy was trying to get the girl to show; or something. I dunno. So the driver of the boat was named Ken. He asked, "So what were you boys doing over there on the shore?" We explained what had happened. So he then said, "well we thought you were faggots." Yes, he totally said that. It was because we didn't have any women with us. Well anyway, then he said "Well if you had been Mexicans; we probably would have shot ya! Thought you might have tried to eat our pig!"

Wow.

Anyway, it took us quite a while to get towed back. We ended up going the scenic route back. Ken had his son on board and there was another kid. They were pretty smart. The oldest son, Eric was Boob-Flasher-Lady's son. He was pretty embarrased today. Because his mom was hanging all over another random dude that was there trying to cop a feel.

HOWEVER, the amazing highlight of the day was when this other guy announced that he needed to pee. Ken told him, just stand up and go over the side. He said, he didn't want to because he might spray somebody. I thought to myself, wow. And a few minutes later, he told everyone; "Ok, everyone turn your head, I'm gonna piss in this cup..." I seriously thought he was joking....but then I heard the sound of a stream of liquid hitting a small styrofoam cup and then I realized that he had whipped out and started urinating in a cup! And then he poured the cup over the side! And then he put the cup down by the cooler! Unbelievable.

Anyway, we finally made it back to shore. Other than the non-PC comments. Ken was a pretty nice guy. And I had fun jetskiing other than the obvious inconveniences. Definitely a blog-worthy day of events.