Quiet E's Blog

Video Blog: My show in Memphis

2009-10-28T18:51:00.000-05:00

This past weekend was great. I did my thing for a great group of jr. high kids for most of the weekend. Then I finally ended up in Memphis for the New Daisy show.

It's hard to describe how significant this show was for me. I had always hoped to perform a big show in front of my parents. Also, Mutemath is a band I've always respected and probably is my favorite band out there, if I'm honest. The only thing that would have made the night even more perfect would have been if Club of the Sons had been there.

Anyway, here is a video clip from that night.

And here is the rest. Click the links to watch it.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

2009-08-13T01:16:00.002-04:00

One of the things that is different from the guy I was to the guy I am now: I am not confident enough in myself or anything I'm doing to the point where I want to share with anyone. That is, if I were to share; I might possibly let someone down by not living up to my own advice, standards, commentary, etc.

I am pretty sure that this is what has affected my blogging. But not for long.

;-)

Philemon 7

2009-05-08T13:16:00.002-04:00

I've had a great weekend already.

I saw STAR TREK last night; it was absolutely fantastic. That's all I can really say about it.

I didn't really sleep at all last night. I was up late finishing my new record. I say new because I've never really had a record before but the songs have been a long time in the making. My music thing as Quiet Entertainer has always just been kind of a hobby but now as I have finished the Machismo EP, I feel very accomplished. I can't wait for people to hear it.

A girl gave me her number the other night

2009-01-06T13:33:00.000-05:00

So I was at this hip-hop show this past weekend, and a girl introduced herself to me and asked me a few questions. Then she put it out there that she thought I was cute and that I should take her phone number and that we should do lunch sometime. Well, this is very flattering and I appreciate the kind of guts it takes to do this. But I can't help but realize how this is a turnoff for me.

It's kind of like when you were younger and you had plans of being lazy one weekend and you find out that your parents have planned your weekend out for you. I kind of felt like that. Maybe that's a little extreme. But what I mean is; I need to feel like I am the one who started it. Do you know what I mean?

In some odd way, I feel as though my manhood was robbed. I didn't get a chance to "notice" her. Make up my mind about her. Think of something to say. Gather the courage to talk to her. Any of that. And in some weird way, that's part of it. There is this whole mental and emotional process that I would normally go through that just got completely skipped. And it isn't beneficial for either of us.

I guess it goes back to the first time this ever happened to me. I was in 9th grade. In honors english. When I was in 9th grade; I had only asked a girl out once in my life; that was a year ago. So I was really inexperienced in such things. Well this girl was sitting next to me in class; and basically did the same thing. She put her intentions out there. She wrote her number down and gave it to me; and told me that I better call her THAT day. Well, what the heck? Call her for what? I didn't know? What were we going to talk about?

Well anyway, I guess it is the 1st century and maybe women can be a lot more forward now then before. And I know sometimes I'm chicken and won't say anything or approach a woman. But when I do gather the courage and the strength to step forward; it's a lot better. I would encourage women to not rob men of that chance to be that guy. I know that if I feel like I have some kind of control over it and am not being forced or led into it; I am more excited about it and will put more energy into it; because my interest level is greater. There is a very long tangent I could go into here but I won't.

If a woman was into me; and I didnt notice her; she should make me notice. Not by forcing herself onto me. "Ok, we're going out soon!" But maybe; I don't know. I remember in college, I was talking to this girl. She was really attractive. Was asking me all kinds of questions about myself. And I'm just oblivous to it all. And she ends it with "well, if you ever want to talk to someone; you can talk to me. You know; just whenever. I'm available to talk." And I thought to myself, oh that's cool. And she said again "Yeah, anytime you wanna talk." And I guess I thought to myself; "Oh cool, I'll just see her around sometime, and we can talk if I see her. Get caught up or whatever." I didn't think that I should get her number or anything.

I think I've told this story before on this blog; but I think it is relevant again in this instance.

But yea, now that I'm older; I would rather a girl give me a chance to think that I am in control of how things are unfolding rather than try to impose her will onto me in a blatant and obvious way.

Do you know what I mean? Am I way off base?

Just me

2008-10-21T01:17:00.000-04:00

I suppose I'm a fairly lonely dude.

Maybe it's actually a pattern. I work a job that requires me to be on the computer a lot. Then my other job is delivering packages; where I have to spend most of that time by myself on the route. Then my other job is delivering pizzas; where I spend most of that time in my truck.

Before that, I was a youth minister; and while I thought that would be lots of relationship-driven work; I remember spending a lot of that time by myself. Before that, I did a lot of radio work; I spend that time by myself in a studio. I do music; but I'm not in a band; I'm a solo artist. I'm an actor; but I'm not in a play or a cast; I'm auditioning for commercials and stuff on my own.

I wonder if I just naturally put myself in situations and so on where I am by myself?

I went to my college's homecoming earlier this year; and someone remarked that I would frequently do these "disappearing acts" where I just wouldn't be around for weeks at a time. I found this so curious because we all lived on campus; and I was always "there" but maybe I naturally withdrew.

I generally like myself as a person, but I don't like THIS about myself. Because I do like people; and I think that everyone has a unique story. But that probably doesn't come across if I'm always by myself.

I wonder if I changed my habits and did things completely different; if I'd ever get anything done.

And what is it that I'm actually doing now?

Raise your hand if you're SURE!

2008-09-15T04:39:00.000-04:00

I delivered a package to some guy the other day; and as I approached him; he asked "Are you going to heaven when you die?" Well, I know what this guy was doing. He doesn't know me. I could be anybody. As a believer, this guy has taken on this duty of making sure that I am "saved." Anything less than a definitive and certain answer will branch the seemingly surface level conversation into a personal probing of life situations, spiritual encounters, emotional baggage. So in order to deflect the oncoming missile, I say, "Absolutely...please sign.."

However, there are few things I am just ABSOLUTELY sure of. The things I am actually sure about actually are faith issues. The Bible says that faith is to be sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Well, I dunno. There seems to be room for doubt in there. And in my quest to be honest and open about my questions and doubts, it would be tough to really dialogue with this guy about my doubts on where I go.

I think about these doubts sometimes. A few weeks ago I caught myself looking at my old college's job placement website again looking at youth ministry positions. I had been considering getting back into it. However, I don't know now if I could ever do it again, especially the way I did before. I have so many questions. And it seems the more I learn and seek; the more questions I have. Something I valued in the youth ministry that I went through was that it was a place for answers. I think that a lot of youth need some clear cut answers. Yet, I don't know if I have clear cut answers; I just know what I believe. And even that has changed over time.

Recently, I was looking at this venue as a possible place to do my music. But it was a venue that would only book Christian artists. I don't even know what that means anymore. But this place had a survey/questionnaire that is supposed to determine the 'Christian-ness' of your artistry. For some, maybe it's not a big deal. However, I found it to be kind of silly.

It reminded me of when I was watching a presidential debate or something and someone asked the candidate if they believed EVERY WORD of the Bible. I emphasis that here because they emphasized it there. I believe the guy who answered gave a very careful reply. But the questioner was looking for a yes or no; cut and dry answer. I just don't know if there is a cut and dry way to do this life.

I still believe that the Bible is from God and explains life the best. And I believe 2 Tim 3:16 to be true. But there is a lot I'm still unsure of. And I think that someone who knows everything about the Bible still won't know EVERYTHING about God. Especially God. So I'm not sure what to do with cookie cutter responses and being SURE. Maybe it's healthy to have a fear of being wrong. Maybe some uncertainty will make it more real to me. I think that has to be what we all have in common.

Guys, you know that girl...that you just KNOW would go out with you if you asked her? Yea, that girl. Well why don't you ever want to ask her out? I have no idea. I imagine and speculate that for whatever reason there is no mystery there. Because you just know the outcome. I think there is mystery with God. Surely. So I perhaps will stop trying to act like a know-it-all. Because I don't know it all.

But I know what I know. That sounds so pointless and confusing. But it really isn't.

tired

2008-04-09T22:31:00.002-04:00

I don't suppose I'm having a bad time or anything, but I'm really tired. I miss the stability of a 9-5. I miss the consistency of seeing people on a regular basis.

I feel as though my pursuits automatically ostracize me from anyone I meet. I feel very disconnected from any and everything.

I'm working too hard to get not enough results. I need to fix or change something. But what?

espirit de corps

2008-02-27T13:10:00.000-05:00

My friend Mark Collins passed away this week. He was 46.

I was watching TV the other night and this movie had already been on when I found it. Maybe I caught the last 30 minutes of it. I had to fill in a lot of blanks. But in the movie; the hero, of course, had to face his fears and overcome some obstacles; join forces with some unlikely companions and then fight the forces of evil. I love stories like this. No matter how cheesy.

At the end of the movie, the hero is standing and overseeing the area and everything is made right and all of the people whom he saved were happy and enjoying themselves. Newly formed relationships were flourishing. And he looked over it and gave a nod of approval. I was moved by this. I can tell a good story if it is a story that I want to be in. One I want to be a part of.

The man who taught me how to appreciate a good story and how to appreciate the arts, was Mark Collins. He was my theatre teacher in high school. My longest and best friendships to date were formed in his classes. I took 3 courses from him. He taught me how to mentally block distraction. He showed me how to see unlimited possibilities from ordinary objects. He forced me to work with people that I wouldn't normally and in environments that were uncomfortable. He taught me how to deal properly with criticism. He affirmed my talents, encouraged my spirit, and rewarded my efforts. He made me believe that I could be a part of the story. Any story.

As I write this, I realize that he must have done this for so many others. So many people benefited from his life. I am humbled to have been a part of his own story.

Rest in peace, MC.

Not everything happens for a reason

2007-12-31T15:04:00.000-05:00

I really do believe that not everything that happens in life happens for a reason. I think that some things in life should never happen; or when they do happen; it really sucks. But so often when crappy things happen, I hear people say this as if to say "Oh, it's ok."

But when bad stuff happens, it isn't ok! And when we screw up; sometimes there isn't a reason. Sometimes, we just make mistakes. And that's ok to admit. I don't think it makes us weak or lesser.

As I look back over my year. I was realizing that I have gone through and experienced a lot and I also have two or three regrets. And I caught myself thinking, "Oh well it's ok because everything happens for a reason." And to be fair, it's totally reasonable to pull something good out of a bad circumstance. And when you do that, you can say, "Well, if that hadn't happened; I never would have _____." But that doesn't make the bad thing ok.

I guess what I want to avoid is blaming God for everything bad and sayig He must have some great reason for it. But there are no reasons for some of the things. I guess the key is to learn from both the good and the bad circumstances and to grow and find positive meaning in each thing. To me, that is different than just blindly accepting that something is ok because there must be some unknown reason behind it.

So yep. I'm very pleased with 2007. I played a lot of shows as Quiet Entertainer. Performed at Cornerstone. Went to Bonnaroo. Went to Austin, Dallas, and New Orleans for some shows. Joined a church. Made some friends. Stretched myself. Became a working actor again. Got to be in two commercials and a music video. Praise God for all those things. I am eager to grow.

I think despite every obstacle; I think I still "ran for it." But I need to be more disciplined in a lot of areas where I stumbled this year. So in keeping with the theme, this is 1 Corinthians 9:24-27

24Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

25Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 27No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

So there it is. Happy New Year! Let's talk more in '08!

2007-12-03T09:18:00.002-05:00

I am up EARLY! It's a rare occasion. I hope everyone can enjoy it!

I was out and about this weekend. And I saw this guy; he looked really familiar. So I am trying to look at him without looking...you know? Trying to figure out who the guy is. He dressed pretty nicely. Had the stubble look going. I could swear I had seen this guy before. I couldn't put my finger on it. I thought, "Do I know this guy? or is he famous?" Well, I finally figured it out later. It was this guy.

Or at least it was someone who looked exactly like him. And I am thinking, where do I know this guy from? And I was just racking my brain trying to figure it out. Well, I don't watch a lot of TV shows (except for one that I will mention later) and I normally watch a lot of movies but I haven't seen any new ones in a while. So what's he from?

Okay, so he was in Sweet Home Alabama. Pretty ok movie, watched it with my sister. But isn't he in something else? IMDB-time! Oh, sweet! He was in Can't Buy Me Love. Remember that movie? OH, ok. I've heard this name before...this guy is McDreamy....

and I thought, who comes up with that name? McDreamy? You know that's a TV character name. I had to do some research to find out that this isn't the guy's actual name on the show. Thank goodness.

So what's up with Grey's Anatomy? Actually, I have seen one episode. I can't remember what happened in it. I just remember that one of the characters seemed to do strange things...with guys. I think she was one of McDreamy's women. (Just saying that name or typing it makes me laugh. I mean, seriously.) Ok, her name in the show is Meredith. All you Grey watchers, does she get around a lot in the show? Is she the missing cast member from Sex and the City? Is she a recurring guest star in Desparate Housewives? What's her deal?

I guess it's fitting that she ends up with a guy named McDreamy. So did he name himself that? or is that her pet name for the guy? It's such a made for TV name. It's just a step down from Ben Dover. But I can't make fun. My favorite show Heroes has a character named Hiro...

Which brings me to my next point. Tonight is the last episode of Heroes. Indefinitely until the strike is over. I am so saddened by this. Heroes is one of the greatest shows I have ever seen. I can believe that there is a strike. I was hoping that my favorite show wouldn't be affected. When will there be a new show after this? Who knows?! But make no mistake, I don't blame the creators of this wonderful show.

I am siding with the Writers Guild of America.

I guess everyone is entitled to their own opinion. And I understand that the general public isn't always going to get the best and most accurate information about the real details of a situation. But I just plain think the writers are right on this one.

Most of you know that I am making plans to enter the profession of acting. Full time as soon as it allows. This sort of situation would affect me. It affects all people in the industry. In my quest to become an actor who makes a living off the craft, I know the concept of residuals. I respect that part of the business.

It's not as easy as just saying to writers to go get a job. I am a firm believer in doing what you are passionate about (even though I currently work at FedEx; but those who know; know that I am miserable). And it's not as easy as just firing the writers who are on strike and then hiring new writers; because then THOSE writers will be paid unfairly also. I say unfairly because SOMEONE is being paid lots of money and increasingly more money as the industry grows through internet and DVDs. So if someone is getting paid; why not everyone who is involved?

I think it's inaccurate to call it greed on the writers part because people are making money off of what they do. Ah, I could go on and on about this. But check out this video.

Why is Greg so weird?

2007-10-07T13:13:00.000-04:00

Well, my weekend is finally here. I say finally because my weekend is really sunday and monday. Those are the days when I don't have to "go" to work. I just work from home on those days.

Friday was good. After my shift at Applebees, I got ready for and had my show that I had been talking about. It was good for me. A lot of people came. I wish I could have talked to them all. Due to the nature of the show, I was stuck on stage DJ-ing for everyone, I got one break towards the end but everyone who I think came to see me had already left. So that was a bummer. But I still had fun. I only messed up once. So I hope that I didn't hurt my rep by doing the show. One highlight was when James Fate got on stage and we performed a song that we have done together called "The Answer." I heard people singing! So that was cool. And if for some reason, you are out of the loop; you can check out my music here.

Saturday morning was the first day of Ultimate Frisbee. Yes, I joined an ultimate frisbee league. Yes, that's right. A league. I was as surprised as you. So I get there; I don't know anyone. And I look around; yep. I'm the only black guy that likes ultimate frisbee. But whatever. Anyway, this league seems to be so serious! They run plays and have defensive sets and stuff; I was so lost. PLUS, I was a little out of shape. I was on the verge of vomiting but I didn't have anything to vomit. Good thing I only had Peanut Butter Cups & my multi-vitamin with a bottled water for breakfast. After it was over, every muscle in my body hurt. Especially my legs. I cramped really bad later. But this is what it's about. I am going to be back in shape very soon. Haha, just in time for basketball season in a month or so. Oh yea, I am hoping to play for a church team. I found one nearby; we're gonna try it out! Oh yea, I'm on a bowling team too. It's going well. As of today I have the 2nd highest avg. It's 175. Where am I finding time to do all this when I work 3 jobs? Well, I have to do this in order to actually schedule recreation. Or else I would never do anything. It's true. It's part of my time management scheme. Gotta find a way to work sleep back in there somewhere. Hmm, I'm not doing anything when i'm driving....that might be a good time!

Hey remember last weekend I was all pissed off? Well yea. It all evened out. That's how it goes. I am praying for good things in the days to come. Those of you who are praying people if you could message me and we'll trade prayer requests. Cool?

Moved

2007-09-28T04:02:00.001-04:00

Well I am sitting here alone in the new apartment. No music. No tv...just thinking.

I've been thinking about a lot of different things. Some spiritual. Some not as spiritual...but right now...The thing on my mind is: where are my nail clippers? It's about that time for me to have my fingernails and toe nails clipped. But I can't find my little kit. It's still packed somewhere. I must find it. I refuse to sleep tonight until they are done. I hate doing anything when my nails are too long. And you know, I'm glad that I care about this sort of thing. I guess it comes from having an older sister. She would always try to advise me in such issues. And she'd always make this face when I was doing something wrong. Kind of like a "something stinks" kind of face that you make. In hopes of contorting your face muscles and nose in such a way that maybe you can block the smell from entering your nose without actually having to hold your nose. You know anyone who can make that face? You know what I'm talking about? haha. My sis is probably reading this right now.

My friend Mark is probably also reading this. In the past few months, Mark has been a great help while I have sorted out a lot of relationship issues and life issues. It's funny because we don't talk often; and most of it is usually catching up. But when we have time to talk outside of "catching up," he is usually giving me invaluable insight. Give this man some dap. Check out his music page: Mark Chappelle

What else? I am going to this house show tonight to see Canon Blue. I'm really interested to see what this will be like. The music is very nice. Sadly, I guess this means I'll miss The Office. I'm sure I'll tape it or something. So that will be fine.

I went on an audition earlier this week. I think it went fine; but the peculiar tidbit was; there were some other black men there; and they were all bald and had the same build and were dressed somewhat the same as me. So it was kind of odd. I guess that will be the nature of auditions from now on. How's that going, you ask? It's ok. I audition for stuff; so that's good. The only thing I have definitely done in the past few weeks is be a customer in a coffee shop for this video series. It's a Sunday School thing.

By the way, I have a show on Friday, Oct. 5th. Cafe Coco at 8pm. It's $5. Would love to see you there.

Seraph: Did you always know?
The Oracle: Oh, no. No, I didn't. But I believed... I believed...

keep it real? pt. 2

2007-08-15T13:42:00.001-04:00

First of all, Happy Birthday Dad! I'm glad that you were born! And I'm glad that you were pro-life. That worked out really well for me. ok...

Remember this blog? Well I was thinking about it today.

Every so often I meet people who are Christians. They may or may not know that I am a Christian when they meet me. A conversation might go like this:

Random Guy: Yea, I'm a Christian, but don't worry; I'm the cool kind.
Greg: What do you mean?
Random Guy: Just that I can go out and drink and have fun and stuff and I'm not super religious.
Greg: oh ok.
Random Guy: But I'm still a Christian, you know. It's just not about rules and stuff; it's about love and tolerance.
Greg: I see.
Random Guy: St. Francis of Assissi said, “Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.”
Greg: It's a good quote.

And it is...but there is a small problem. Let me share with you a conversation I had recently with a girl.

Random Girl: So yea, I'm a Christian.
Greg: Oh yeah?
Random Girl: Yea, I was a pastor's kid and I accepted the Lord when I was 5.
Greg: Wow. That's really young.
Random Girl: Yea, but I've grown up since then.
Greg: No doubt.
(another random guy walks up)
Random Guy (to Random Girl): Hey! Where have you been? Why didn't you come out drinking with us last week!
Random Girl: Oh! Well, I've been working a lot!
Random Guy: Well what about tonight?
Random Girl: I haven't gotten drunk with anyone in a while....
Random Guy: Really? When was the last time?
Random Girl: Ok well it was actually two days ago.
Random Guy: Oh. Well you should come out with us tonight!
Random Girl: I'll let you know. (random guy leaves.) Yea.....
Greg: Yea....
Random Girl: You probably didn't want to know all that, huh? Too much information?
Greg: No, I think there are still some informational gaps actually.
Random Girl: Well, I'll fill you in. I know sometimes its wrong to live the way I do. But I'm still a Christian, and that's still a big part of who I am. I guess my witness isn't that strong right now, but I think if people see that I'm real when i'm making mistakes; they'll see that I'm real when I'm not.
Greg: I see
Random Girl: I've only been here a few months; I haven't really met anyone I click with who doesn't go out drinking.
Greg: I understand. I think it's wrong to drink, but I personally don't do it. I've met a lot of Christians since I moved here; and a lot of them drink. It's kind of tough to be social go do what everyone else is doing. And it's lame to just sit there sometimes...

And without giving you the rest of the conversation; I think I just understood that people (not just Christians) have a strong need to connect with other people. And I guess it's more enticing and easier to sell to someone "Hey, I'm just like you!" "I'm just like everyone else!" instead "Hey, I'm different." And both statements are true. But for a Christian, the difference can be tough to decipher unless you live a certain way.

That's why the quote from St. Francis can be a problem. If you were to just look at my life; you don't always see the gospel. Often, you will see an insanely imperfect idiot (alliteration!!!, I think....maybe assonance...) trying to fit in and trying to figure things out.

Here's a quote from my friend Claire:
"yeah, I'd rather be the dork that tries to follow Jesus than have people resent me for saying I'm a Christian but being ok with sin in my life."

For some reason, that statement really made me think. Where am I at on this? Is it more important for me to be socially relevant? or am I ok with being a dork?

Been fresh since 8-10-78

2007-08-13T00:05:00.000-04:00

I had a great birthday.

My parents and sister came over from Memphis and they took me to Famous Dave's. Then I just hung out at the apartment for a bit before I went to see Rush Hour 3. It was really funny.

Then I met up with the Ourslers for a little bit; as I crashed their graduation party.

Then the next day, I just lounged around in my little house pants. haha. I saw Transformers finally. You know what....kind of cool....and kind of boring. yea...I mean; there is some great stuff and then some stuff that wasn't as great. So....yea. hmm, oh well.

Then I went to the Open Mic hip hop night at Cafe Coco. that's always a good time.

Today I overslept, so I missed church, which I hate to do. Then I went to see Bourne Ultimatum. It was fantastic. And really was the best movie I saw this weekend. Yes, that is my opinion.

Meanwhile, now I sit here; wondering if this week will be lame or amazing. Of course, in these planning stages; you never want to plan and schedule a lame week but sadly these weeks just seem to happen. So we'll see.

I would like to find time to join a church basketball team this fall/spring. I wonder if there is anything like that in Nashville. I will have to see.

Alright, thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday. I am still celebrating until Tuesday! Oh, and anyone who was wondering about my birthday present fundraiser, people were kind enough to donate $21 ($18 on myspace and $3 on facebook) so I have used that towards the movies. Still didn't cover it all; but I appreciate the generosity from Jeremy, Scott, and The Winans!

Christian Nudity?

2007-08-03T02:10:00.000-04:00

I've been reading the Nashville Scene faithfully now for the past 5 weeks. It's been mostly good stuff. But today, I was at Shane's Rib Shack. I went to pick up a copy and I stopped; frozen. On the cover was a drawing of two naked people; and the cover read:
Naked Before God: Christian nudists hit the church - and the hot tub - for three days of wet and wild worship in the backwoods of Tennessee.

Wha???

I really didn't know what to make of this. At first I think I was kind of upset; I thought, "Oh great, what kinds of craziness are they going to say about the church in here. And then I felt ashamed to pick it up and read it. And then I thought I was being silly. Because like I said, I have been reading for the past few weeks.

So I read it; and well... I don't know what to say. It was an interesting read. It reminded me of a roommate I had in Bible College who loved to get naked. He didn't do it often, but I guess he did it often enough. And we'd have these conversations about nudity. And he had some interesting views.

Anyway, click here to read the article. Let me know what you think.

One-Eighty

2007-07-24T10:26:00.000-04:00

What an unbelievably challenging month July has been. I have gone through and experienced a lot more this month than I ever thought I would. It's been emotionally taxing. I was talking to mus sister on the phone, when I realized that these types of events really force you to evaluate. I suppose that when we are in times of stress or trouble; the tensions that we are facing will highlight all of our weaknesses and character flaws. I have had to come face to face with my own flaws. I'm not going to spell those out here. I guess I needed to type out that I at least have these to work on before I would think about working on them.

In the Bible, there is the story about the prodigal son. He eventually comes to his senses and decides to head back home. I think in a lot of ways, I have had to experience this on a more practical level. At what point in my life do I realize I need to change direction? That's the key. How long do you head in one direction before you make a change? This has been a huge deal for me this month. Making necessary changes and taking necessary steps in order to keep out of trouble. It's like learning how to walk all over again. Or trying to go back on a diet. Or maybe trying to do push-ups again.

Yea, so I tried to do some push-ups this morning. And it was a struggle. I did 10 (my goal) but it was rough. but I really didn't want to do push-ups. I would have rather played basketball. I have played basketball once in the 11 months I have lived in Nashville. Just one time. And that was with the junior high kids at church on an 8 foot goal. I would like to get back into that. I remember when I used to play a lot. I always felt great afterwards. Great, in a "my body is about to collapse" sort of way. I have always said that when the right time comes I am going to (fill in the blank) but that right time never seems to come. So I guess it really is "now or never."

Which reminds me of that Mute Math song, of course. And no I didn't plan that out. Seriously.

Catching Up, Checking In, Keeping In Touch

2007-07-08T03:04:00.000-04:00

I am up late. It seems to be the prerequisite...

So, I was just thinking about some things. I am moving into a new apartment in the near future with two other guys that I've gotten to know recently. This will be my first time living with other guys since College. And it's different than living at home with your parents and sister I'd say. But in some ways it's similar. It's been a while since I've had to share a space with someone in that manner. So my relationship with these two guys will change considerably.

I've noticed a pattern in a lot of my friendships as it goes on a regular basis. I'll see them or talk to them, and it's usually "Hey....how's it going?....yea? that's cool....So....anything new?......oh ok.....well here's what's going on with me.......yep.....oh ok so what else is going on?.......same here......well, talk to you later." And that's how my conversations have been going. It seems like all I do is catch up with my friends. It's just a series of keeping caught up. So when I think about it; rarely am I actually going through life with people; it's like I just keep running into people at various times. A series of intersections. even if they are repetitive intersections...even if they are once a week....by the nature and definition of an intersection, it's still different directions. Just people I seem to pass by while I go through life...

It seems like I am never really around people long enough to enjoy a journey together; or if I am; I am enjoying it long enough to realize that one or both is on a wrong path. So, it's a ritual of connecting and then disconnecting. Sometimes by necessity and then sometimes by habit. But ultimately, my friendships miss something because there are no common experiences. Getting caught up seems to mean you tell each other what they've missed; but the point is; that they've missed it; or you've missed whatever has been going on with them.

Sometimes I feel that my relationship with God is the same way. I am only running into Him long enough to try and get caught up. I may see him on a regular basis; but it's only to just keep in touch and stay informed. "What's going on? oh well here's what's going on with me, God....oh while i'm talking to you, could you.....?....ok, well talk to you later!" And somehow I must be missing something. I think that I often just keep in touch with God but I forget to share experiences with God. Or maybe just experience God Himself.

When I was in college, I lived in the dorm and I was really familiar with my roommates. I knew their schedule. I knew what they were up to. I knew who they were talking to, and what was on their minds. I knew their concerns. Their habits. Their dislikes....because I was always around them; always in their presence. So I never really had to get caught up with them; it was never just information exchange once I got to that point. Then I just was living life with them and experiencing being their roommate and friend.

So this is something I need to do in a lot of in relationships but especially with God. Move beyond a series of intersections and look for a chance to be on the same road.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

Journey is Irrelevant without Destination

2007-06-23T10:42:00.000-04:00

So it's been a week since Bonnaroo. I have yet to blog about it. I can't give a really good play-by-play. I was sick the whole time I was there. So that was annoying. Let's see, so I was working the gate for a 12 hour shift. The deal was that after the shift, they would give us the admission bracelets that we'd need in order to get into the center area where all of the stages and tents were located. Well my shift was over at 8pm and Mute Math was playing at 10. So I thought it would be plenty of time to make it back. Actually, I did not get back to my camp site until about 9:15 or so. Now, it's about a 25 minute walk or so from where we were to the stage. And they still were late with the bracelets. So I was agonizing. By about 10:05 I still didn't have the bracelet. Then I could hear them playing off in the distance. I couldn't stand that I could hear them playing but couldn't go see them, so I decided that I was just going to go sneak in. Somehow. It was an act of desparation. I just walked towards the music. I cut through campsites and walked through people's areas. Didn't use any of the marked gravel roads. I then somehow was able to find an area that was not heavily guarded that led me to a dark and unlit road that led to the area behind the stage and I found an opening in the fence and just walked in! It felt exhilirating. haha, anyway, so their show was great!

Afterwards, I tried to get back to the campsite. I say that I tried because I just couldn't do it. Keep in mind, that I just worked a 12 hour shift and then I hustled across to the show; and then I didn't use any roads or landmarks to let me know how to get back, so I was completely lost. My legs were starting to cramp. I stopped to ask for directions. However, in my ignorance I had indicated the absolute wrong place on my map to get directions to. So the lady actually told me how to get to the spot on the map furthest away from where I wanted to be. I didn't know this at the time. So as I was lost at Bonnaroo, I had a great deal of time to think about things.

One of my friends once told me that I told her something that she really appreciated and had told all of her friends. Basically what I said was to "Seek God, the journey is irrelevant." I didn't think this was a big deal at the time. However, I said this because a lot of the time I think about how so much emphasis is placed on the journeys of life and making sure you don't miss the here and now. And not to miss all the daily intricacies of life. I think that sometimes I agonize over whether God wants me to go here or there or do this or that. But one time, my friend Jason told me to just seek God, and not seek a job or career or girlfriend. This was many years ago. I guess I had adopted that into my thinking. Well anyway, at some point I had moved away from this, hoping that I could finally focus on and enjoy life and not stress over seeking God. But this is wrong. The more I think about it...you can't just live...or just be...unless you have something to shoot for. Something to set your sights on....a destination.

I had the wrong destination that night. So all of my walking was taking me nowhere. It was painful. But when I finally figured out where I was supposed to be and where I was going, those first steps were hard, but as I neared my destination; I became a little more energized. I sometimes think about a long road trip. As I get closer and closer to my destination, I start to get excited. I start to anticipate how great it will be to finally get there. All of the things I'll do there. I think that if you set out just to go somewhere without a destination in mind, you might as well stay home.

I think if we focus only on the journey, we lose something. Something that makes the journey more bearable. That something is hope. Hope gives a journey purpose. Anticipation of better things when the journey is over. Or anticipation of a new journey to begin from your new destination. But even in that case, a new journey has to lead to a new destination. Anyway, i'm rambling about some things I was thinking while I was wandering aimlessly throughout Bonnaroo that night.

So yea, the next day I finally got bracelets; and I saw a lot of great bands and DJs, made frequent stops to the portable toilets, was offered a lot of pot; and saw a moderate amount of nudity. I think the highlight for me personally, was to see The Roots. That was amazing. Sorry to all of you Police fans.

What else? The show I played recently with 2'Shon went very well. I am very excited about next week at Cornerstone. Not only for that but to also be in the band with Spoken Nerd. His music with a live band sounds excellent. I am somehow very fortunate to be a part of all this. After next week, I wonder how i'll get my fix.

Alright, that's how things are going with me lately.

Are you in?

2007-06-08T02:17:00.000-04:00

Well let's see. I am up late. I am finally finished with all my junk for the day. Ready to do it all again tomorrow. Here's some things that are going on with me. I was thinking about my year-long push. I guess I am nearing the half way point. In some ways, I am worse off than I was at the beginning of the year. In other ways, I am better. So I'll just mention a few things.

I'll be attending Bonnaroo next week and also Cornerstone. At Bonnaroo, I'll be excited to see a lot of bands that I've never seen before. I was fortunate enough to find some people who were taking volunteers to work the gate. SO! I'll be working the gate on Thursday, then that night I hope to see Mute Math. On Friday, I don't really have anyone I want to see until that night! I will FINALLY get to see The Roots, then Aesop Rock, El-P, and then DJ Shadow late that night! I may leave after that truthfully. but on Saturday night; if I'm still up for it. I can finally see Regina Spektor, Kings of Leon, Ben Harper & The Criminals, The Police, Girl Talk, and Sasha & John Digweed! Yea, I am definitely leaving after that. haha.

At the end of June, i'll be traveling to Illinois to play at the Cornerstone Music Festival. I think it will be similar to Bonnaroo in a lot of ways. Except that it's Christian bands playing and so on. I'll be there as part of 2'Shon & the SOLO. Should be fun! (Nashville people; if you want to see this band play before Cornerstone; be at The Anchor on Tues. June 19th at 7 and bring $5!) Also I'll be performing with Spoken Nerd. That will also be a lot of fun. I don't really want to see anyone perform at Cornerstone except for Pigeon John. I hope to spend some time in Rockford, IL when I am in Illinois; but I don't even know how I am going to get gas money to be in Illinois in the first place! Donations???

The acting thing has not worked out as quickly as I'd hoped. Other than appearing in Mat Kearney's music video briefly, I haven't done anything. I have had to work a lot (3 part time jobs) so I am hoping to get a better paying job; then I can whittle down to two. The high paying one; and the other one I moved here to do. You all know what that is. So I am trying. Once I get a better and more solid schedule there; I can work on film acting if I get night work hours; and theater acting if I get day work hours. And I will try and push the music thing also.
I've been working with D'Evora on retooling some Quiet Entertainer logos and I've been looking at some t-shirt options. You might hear more on this if it works out in a way that I find favorable.

I have a girlfriend now. What? Huh? Yes, it's true. Where did she come from? How did this happen? I just have no clue. Well, we met on myspace! Yea, doesn't that just cajole your cojones? haha, I hope not. Anyway, she clicked on me because I was in someone's top friends. (Mad props to Elliot!) So we had been hanging out a lot and seeing quite a good bit of each other; and now here we are! So now what do I do? I don't know.

Anyway, so if I can get a better job. I won't have to move. I may move anyway; but I like this particular area and this apartment complex. But it's a lot of money for just me. I may need a roommate situation to appear soon. Anyway, I'll deal with that in the next month or so. Wish me luck. Pray. Do all that.

Thanks for your time.
-Greg

2007-05-14T01:02:00.001-04:00

So this morning, I went with Brandon and Garrett to some random lake in order to try out Brandon's new jetski. I'd never been on a jetski before, so I was excited to give it a shot. Well, after proceeding to dangerous velocities ; we somehow tipped the jetski completely over and all 3 of us fell off. So that was unexpected; we had to swim to a nearby shore while simultaneously pulling the freakin' jetski. Pretty awesome so far...

So we get to the shore; and completely at random we see a large GOAT and a PIG just sitting there looking at us. Why were they there? who knows. Apparently they are there all the time. How did we learn this? Stay tuned. So as we are at this rocky shore, Garrett is using a gatorade bottle to try and get the water out of the jetski and I am anchoring it with a rope. The pig begins to approach behind me! Is it a nice pig? Is it vicious? Will he charge at me in a menacing fashion? I didn't know the answers to these questions. Thankfully, the pig backed off.

So eventually we decided to flag down someone to tow us back to shore. And we get picked up by a group of people who were actually coming over to feed the pig! We found out later that they feed it a couple of times a week. They are on the lake a lot. Anyway, so I think a couple of the adults on the boat were full on drunk and the others were somewhat buzzed. AND I didn't see it but Garrett says one of the kids had a beer. we're talking maybe 9 and 12 years old.

Moving on, so the first conversation I overheard upon entering their boat was "No, I didn't show my boobs; but I don't think there is anything wrong with it! If you got 'em, flaunt em!" One guy was trying to get the girl to show; or something. I dunno. So the driver of the boat was named Ken. He asked, "So what were you boys doing over there on the shore?" We explained what had happened. So he then said, "well we thought you were faggots." Yes, he totally said that. It was because we didn't have any women with us. Well anyway, then he said "Well if you had been Mexicans; we probably would have shot ya! Thought you might have tried to eat our pig!"

Wow.

Anyway, it took us quite a while to get towed back. We ended up going the scenic route back. Ken had his son on board and there was another kid. They were pretty smart. The oldest son, Eric was Boob-Flasher-Lady's son. He was pretty embarrased today. Because his mom was hanging all over another random dude that was there trying to cop a feel.

HOWEVER, the amazing highlight of the day was when this other guy announced that he needed to pee. Ken told him, just stand up and go over the side. He said, he didn't want to because he might spray somebody. I thought to myself, wow. And a few minutes later, he told everyone; "Ok, everyone turn your head, I'm gonna piss in this cup..." I seriously thought he was joking....but then I heard the sound of a stream of liquid hitting a small styrofoam cup and then I realized that he had whipped out and started urinating in a cup! And then he poured the cup over the side! And then he put the cup down by the cooler! Unbelievable.

Anyway, we finally made it back to shore. Other than the non-PC comments. Ken was a pretty nice guy. And I had fun jetskiing other than the obvious inconveniences. Definitely a blog-worthy day of events.

2007-05-09T10:01:00.000-04:00

1O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly;
My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You,
In a dry and weary land where there is no water.
2Thus I have seen You in the sanctuary,
To see Your power and Your glory.
3Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips will praise You.
4So I will bless You as long as I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
5My soul is satisfied as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth offers praises with joyful lips.
6When I remember You on my bed,
I meditate on You in the )night watches,
7For You have been my help,
And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy.
8My soul clings to You;
Your right hand upholds me.
9But those who seek my life to destroy it,
Will go into the depths of the earth.
10They will be delivered over to the power of the sword;
They will be a prey for foxes.
11But the king will rejoice in God;
Everyone who swears by Him will glory,
For the mouths of those who speak lies will be stopped.

This is probably my favorite Psalm (Psalm 63). I like the Psalms because they have a lot of poetic imagery and also they seem to convey a great sense of passion. I was reminded of this one today because I was thinking about my theme that I gave myself at the beginning of the year: Run For It! And I thought, am I still doing it? I'd say yes, except that I must have started running without stretching or without getting some water. And then I thought of this passage. I remember a time when I thought to myself, "I totally could have written Psalm 63." But nowadays I don't seem to be that guy. What happened to that guy? The passionate, poetic Greg? The one that thirsts for God? The one who drinks for refreshment and enjoyment and not the guy who is barely hanging on thanks to being fed intravenously...Gotta get back to that....

Anyway, I just got back yesterday. I flew to Austin, TX. My friend Alison picked me up and we ate at Kerby Lane. I ate something wrong there; I didn't feel right the entire rest of the day and night. I think it was those fries. I have to trust my gut for real next time. Met Liz and Chris. Very nice people. Anyway from there, we drove, or rather Alison drove me to Houston so I could see Club of the Sons & Mute Math. Those are good bands, by the way.

Then afterwards, I hitched a ride with Club to the next show in New Orleans. Something I have enjoyed being around New Orleans people has been a pride for the city. They are always trying to show me their favorite things about the city and wanting me to get the New Orleans experience. Every time. And sometimes there is even a hint of disappointment when I say that I've been here before or done something before because they want the joy of showing me something for the first time. That's really cool to me. So, I saw the show in New Orleans, and then hitched a ride back here to Nashville. It was fun times, but I was so tired when I got back here.

What was the worst part??? I missed Heroes and 24 this week.

Anyway, pray for me as I now am looking for a new apartment or new living situation. My lease is up in September. I could stay here if my income situation changes. but we'll see.

Much love,
Greg

Now

2007-05-01T03:04:00.001-04:00

I was recently thinking about what it is like to be a freshman. I remember this feeling. For a while at the beginning, there was a new and fresh feeling. I was in a new place with new people trying to do something completely different. Having conquered and triumphed over the previous system, I was ready to put away the past and try my hand at new endeavors. Also, I remember feeling that I'd somehow been given a second chance; a fresh start. I felt this way in high school and in college.

As I began to grow into my new surroundings and experiences, I realized something. I was awakened to the fact: I was at the bottom of yet another food chain, so to speak. I didn't notice this until I had to begin working with and interacting with people who were further along. People who had already been through their freshman years. People who had already seen and gone through all of the struggles of being a freshman. As I surveyed their lives from a distance, I could not see their own struggles. Only their freedoms from mine. I would see juniors and seniors talking casually with people they'd gotten to know for years now talking about things they'd gone through together, while I sat alone wondering who all these people were that I may or may not ever get to connect with.

I think this is where I am at today. I have had a unique opportunity to look into other people's lives that I am working with that I interact with on a daily basis. I have found myself looking covetously, wishing I could only be a few years further along. So I could progress past some of the issues I currently face and maybe get deeper roots planted into career paths, relationships, hobbies....

I was talking to a friend online; we were catching up. we asked each other what was going on and all that. I remember saying something like, "Oh, I'm just doing what I do. Trying to make it work..." Something like that, and she exclaimed. "Greg, you've been saying that for years!" I couldn't tell if she was disappointed or frustrated with me or what. But it felt like frustration because maybe I am really frustrated with myself for not doing what I had to in order to move forward...

Hope for the future is so difficult when you're not in control. I do believe that God is in control. He knows what's going on. But I have no clue. I have heard people talk about God's timing and God's sovereignty and I believe both of those things to be good. I have noticed though that it is easy to tell someone else to wait on God's timing, when your time is NOW. I think that goes with anything. But we all have NOW moments, so why am I always looking ahead to then? When will then be now??? AND with that, I have to close with:

Investigate....I can't wait...

2007-03-26T14:59:00.000-04:00

I finally saw 300 last night. Definitely an impressive watch. Not AS impressive as I might have been led to believe. However it was VERY stirring. I felt myself wanting to fight someone afterwards. But I didn't feel very aggressive, I just felt that I wanted to definitely feel as a part of something like that with a group of equally passionate individuals in a capacity of being extremely important to the "cause." Well, anyway.

I am sitting here in my home in Millington, TN. I got here yesterday just in time to visit New Hope. Now I am trying to relax and just rest up a bit before making the drive back to Nashville. I feel very disconnected from all of my friends here. Meaning that each time I see them, I am having to catch up. Instead of just being in the present. Which, I guess is fine. Part of the joy of being in the moment is to look back at the past moments. But I am finding that I am always having to be caught up and then I feel that I miss these other "present moments" that people have had. That is unfortunate. I feel like I am missing these "now moments" in my own life because I am always having to travel or be at work or something like that. And it's different meeting up with people at each different place instead of being with someone as you go from place to place. I have recently observed this.

I went to see Mute Math in Knoxville the other night. It was a good show except that the security guy seemed to be singling me out as the trouble maker. I found out later that he was being a jerk to everyone. This, also, is unfortunate. Anyway,. I hope I can see them again in May.

Those of you who asked me for prayer; I am praying for you still.

I have been thinking a lot about Psalm 139 and how it says that God is familiar with our ways. At the end of it, David asks God to test him and search him to see if there is anything offensive in him. I think that I have something in me. A spirit of unforgiving-ness. haha. What's the word there? Anyway, I have forgiven people in the past of worse things. But I have these two grudges in my life right now andi if you don't forgive people or if you have some kind of greivance then it just does something to you. Anyway, whatever.

Memphis lost in the Elite 8 game to Ohio State. I am very disappointed about this. I will recover though.

Otherwise, life is pretty good. I'm still black, bald, and beautiful.

2007-03-12T09:09:00.000-04:00

It's Monday morning!

So yesterday, I was delivering pizza and as I was getting there, this church which shall remain nameless had ordered 25 pizzas. And all the drivers were trying to avoid taking it. Apparently this church does not tip drivers well. The drivers went on to say that all churches everywhere just don't tip well. This is an unfortunate stereotype that I can't buy into. I remember at Applebee's that no one wanted to work Sundays, not because they just wanted a day off but because everyone "hated church people" for not tipping or being rude or something. Anyway, I couldn't defend the church yesterday because one of our drivers went out there and did not get tipped at ALL! I mean, wow. And someone said to me casually, "That's really a shame, it makes Christians look bad." I didn't have anything to say. What could I say? But I am really disappointed about that. Didn't they get my memo?

I was thinking about seeing 300 this weekend, but I held off. I might go this week. I don't know. I am hesitant about seeing it but I also really want to see it. I am torn. We'll see what I end up doing.

Comcast still sucks. I just want everyone to know this. They make awesome commercials though. I wish they'd put that commercial energy into their customer service or their product.

Last week, I did a show with Spoken Nerd & Bobby Exodus. It was interesting. They were the only ones not talking about smoking weed or strippers and stuff. It was funny because one of the groups was bragging about how they were going to do the entire show without using a curse word. Congratulations. :-) Meanwhile, I will get a chance to play at Cornerstone Festival doing a set for Spoken Nerd. Major business!

That's my life for right now.

broken relationships: the one sided relationship

2007-03-03T05:15:00.000-05:00

I have gone back to examining my own friendships and relationships. As I look around, I see a lot of relationships of convenience. I guess this means that the relationship just happens to work because the people just happen to be thrown together and schedules fit. But the people don't seek each other out really.

When I was in college, I think I observed this a lot. And this is sad. I always felt bad because there were so many great people I had met but I didn't have time to really get to know all of them or hang out with all of them. So I always felt fake or something. Because, hey if I think you're such a cool guy or girl then why don't I hang out with you more? Happened all the time. Truth is there were some people I hung out with more just because we had all the same classes and we were in all the same extra curricular stuff. And those were the people I got to know. So these frienships took little effort.

Right now, I have observed that some people seek you out and other people wait for it to just happen. People waiting to just click as friends. When it does click, it's out of convenience and some natural feeling. If it's not clicking, then what? Do we try and make it work? I have observed lately at work that some people try hard to make friends with me not by trying to get to know me but by trying to change my behavior. I guess that this behavior change will make them more comfortable around me and then we can all just get along. Very seldom does anyone actually try and get to know me or ask questions or whatever; things that might actually make me more comfortable and maybe would relax the mood a bit...who knows.

The flip side of this, is that I don't do it either. I rarely call people to see how they are doing or ask if they want to do something. Part of it is because I work a lot but also part of it, and probably the main part is that I just don't know what to do and don't want to put forth the effort. It takes effort really. And what if my friends don't like to do the same kinds of things? (this happens more often than I thought) Then it takes effort to find out what they do like and then more effort to actually do those things with them. It seems to take a lot of effort to contact people and find out how their day is when all I really want to do is focus on my own problems.

The best relationships seem to thrive when both sides are getting what they need out of it. Whether it's attention, or good conversation, or something. If someone is consistently getting what they need and want and then not giving anything in return. It starts to strain things a bit. If someone is always giving me attention and then I never give attention to the other person, a few things could happen. I will eventually start to recognize that I don't ever give attention that I should give to the person, then I could either start doing it, or I could decide that it's not worth the effort and then move on. Or I could never realize it, and the other person could continue and eventually feel drained or exasperated or that person could decide that it's not worth the effort and move on.

You know how when you receive something, sometimes you feel the need to pay the person back somehow. Or if you give a lot of something, you start to feel that you need to get something in return. That's how it goes. Relationships have to be two way or else one side will be frustrated.

I went through a break up a while back, and I think that for a while, we both were fulfilling each other's emotional needs and wants and then after a while, the return wasn't matching up with our need. I think the longer you give/receive, the more you need to give/receive. Anyway, so we somehow weren't able to continue, maybe because the demand on each other was more than we could fulfill based on the effort put in.

I have a friend who always calls or texts me but I hardly ever do it first. Why is this? I don't know. It's easier to wait to be called or texted, but what if I put forth the same effort that I was being shown? Maybe the friendship would thrive to some new level.

I have another friend who I hardly ever talk to and I don't know why. Actually, I do know why, it's just not convenient. We could talk more but one of us would have to really step out of routine to make it happen. And who wants to do that?

I need to be someone who puts forth more effort in relationships. Not just when it is convenient. This is because I care about and want to pour into other people. I know people like this. I want to be one of those people. That doesn't just have a lot to give but is willing to give it.

There is a lot of spiritual/biblical parallels in this. Those of you who are Spiritually minded will get it; the rest of you who may be curious can ask me. I pray that I can do more and be more for my friends and family.

I want to care

2007-02-18T15:56:00.000-05:00

When I was in college, people used to ask me for prayer requests. And I had a list of things, and then I had a list of people I wanted to pray for. These lists were actual written down lists of prayer issues that I had in my dorm. Eventually I named my prayer list, "Greg's Prayer Package." It was easy to remember for me. And it actually helped me keep these prayer requests in mind. People especially. I would mainly pray for people who had asked me for prayer or for people who I probably wouldn't pray for themselves. I kept this up for a while. People would always ask me, "How's the Greg Prayer Package?"

One day I quit. I think someone convinced me that I was just doing this to appear more spiritual. And that by praying for my friends and for people that wouldn't otherwise, that I was somehow looking down on them. Well, I believed it for a moment. But after that, I stopped praying. So that was no good. I think that is what my enemy wanted all along.

I still pray for people when asked. But my regular prayer life hasn't been the same since I ended the "prayer package." I am going to start that up again. I just want to have a better prayer life again. However, also I just want to care for people again. So, how can I pray for you?

Airport

2007-02-13T02:49:00.001-05:00

I love airports. Whenever I am in one, I truly feel like an adult. I don't know why. Normally, when I have had a chance to fly, I book the absolute earliest flight I can take. So my trip to the airport usually happens before sunset. When I was in Rockford, I had a lot of flights out from Chicago's O'Hare airport. So it included an hour bus ride to Chicago. I'd have to leave Rockford around 3 am. I do my best thinking in the morning or late at night. Always in the am. So my airport trips help me to think.

I usually travel alone, so I don't have to keep up a whole lot of conversation. Ironic, because there are so many people at these airports. Each time I travel, no matter what time I choose. There are so many different people. As I am waiting in line to get through security or when I am sitting waiting to board the plane, I see so many different types of people. I have to wonder what their story is. Where are they going? Are they going home? Are they leaving home? Where is home for them? Taking in the moment of being in such a vast intersection is quite remarkable. Often in those moments, I wonder if anyone is doing the same thing. Who is noticing me in these moments? Which of these people are asking the same questions? About me? It's humbling because no matter how significant I think my story is, these other stories are equally important to them and to another sphere of influence.

The plane ride. I usually spend my plane rides asleep. Depends on the trip. I'll stay awake long enough to watch the takeoff. Then I'll try and sleep until it's time to land. I've had good and bad plane trips. I guess traveling long distances can be boring no matter how you do it, if you are doing it alone. Yet there is something exciting about landing in a new place. The realization that soon you will finally be at the destination you've wanted to be at. When I fly, it's usually to a place I haven't been or a place I don't really go often. So I am always excited to experience something new. Or if I'm going home, I am excited to be back home finally. So, that has to be the most emotionally rewarding part of the experience. I can see it in others too. The feeling of getting off the plane in a new place and looking forward to reconnecting with friends and family that you know there. Or maybe making plans for how the rest of the day will go. The Airport part always seems to be more fun when I am arriving post-flight. No security, I suppose.

I think that what I would like out of life is the feeling that I get when I am arriving at the destination. A feeling of "Yes, I am finally here!" A feeling that indicates, "Hey, it's going to be a piece of cake from here on!" As I move from job to job; I feel like I am constantly changing planes. Going from one destination to the next, until I am unsure of where I came from and where i'm going. I meet people along the way, but I am not sure if we are all going to the same place. I guess that is how life can be sometimes. I've heard many people say that life is about the journey. However, without a destination, your journey is to nowhere and your travel is pointless. Perhaps the feeling of excitment at arriving at a new place is because of the journey that we've made to get there. But I think it's also and maybe even more so because of the hope of something new. The promise of new challenges. The excitement of new experiences. The allure of new relationships. The expectation of new beginnings.

Anyway, just another late night thought. I think my life is sometimes like being in an airport, looking forward to arriving at my new destination. Hoping that my time there will be awesome. I hope that our travels will get us to where we are supposed to be.

Much love,
Greg

Greg makes his move!

2007-02-09T03:25:00.000-05:00

It's a very interesting time for me.

Today I gave my two weeks notice for Applebee's. Yesterday I was hired at Pizza Hut to be a delivery driver. But I won't start for a while. I suppose I'll have to keep doing the Applebee's thing until I get a schedule over at Pizza Hut. It'd be nice to time it to where I can have a weekend off. But I don't think that will be possible.

For those that didn't hear, I performed a show as Quiet Entertainer at the end of January. That was a lot of fun for me. If you haven't already, you can go to the QE myspace page and check the music. I enjoyed it; I hope that I get another opportunity to perform.

The acting thing has been slow. Everything has to take a back seat to working. the plan is to get new headshots and then immediately start doing the mailings. I have my resume ready to go. Anyway, we'll see. I also want to find an acting class in Nashville. Just something to stay sharp. I'll be searching for something like that. Hopefully work hours will work with that. Either an acting class or a night theatre thing. Either would be ideal. It's nice to talk about now but I guess it would take months for me to get financially ready to do this.

Once again, a new employee is letting me know that I need to loosen up. They asked if I was ever in the military. They asked me why I didn't smile much. Well, it's kind of an unfortunate situation. When you know that someone doesn't like you and that they want you to change or act a certain way, it never really puts me in a smiling mood. And I'd love to just stand around and be social at work. But amazingly, I am at work. So I just am finding a difficult balance between slacking off/socializing and working hard. So I just prefer to err on the side of caution. Meanwhile, I see others don't have a lot of problems with this. Perhaps I'm just not a nice guy. It's a possibility. I remember the last time I mentioned this kind of issue. I guess I don't know what I was expecting. Instead of encouragement, some people to the opportunity to add on to all of the other criticisms. This is an unfortunate and disappointing response. However, I imagine that these are honest responses. I suppose that in a lot of ways, I just am in my own little world and I have no real clue or maybe no desire to intersect my life with others sometimes. I know this isn't true all the time. But when i'm in a group and people are talking about something, if I have no clue about it then I won't insert myself into the conversation, nor will I try to play off it. I guess I could do that, but it would be BS. Who wants that?

What else do I do? Ah, the Mute Math thing.

Click the banner!

Make sure you go see this Spring Tour from Mute Math. It's going to be special. Most of my online hours have been spent trying to let people know about this, so I hope that those of you who go can really enjoy it! I mean that.

Alright, that's it.

Much love,
Greg

Why don't I?

2007-01-27T05:06:00.000-05:00

It's 4am and instead of sleep, here I am. I find it so odd, that I can sit around and be so sleepy; yet when I finally decide that I want to go to sleep; I just lie there and can't fall asleep. I discover that I have to force my eyelids to stay closed. That's so odd. But I had stuff on my mind.

I remember when I was in college. I really enjoyed being around this one girl. It just so happened that during the course of a normal day, our paths would cross repeatedly. It was a small school so I saw a lot of her and our schedules were similar. I enjoyed our time together, and she always made me feel special. When the next semester came, we had different schedules. So, I couldn't just randomly or casually see this person. I had to actually make an effort to see her. I had to seek her out. I couldn't just meet her or see her wherever I was normally at. At this stage, I wasn't at a place where I would just ask her out or anything; so I decided that I just needed to make sure that I was in the same places that she was at certain times. I tried to time my lunch schedule differently. I took more scenic routes between classes. Instead of studying in my dorm room, I tried studying in the library. I tried all of these things that would increase my chances of encountering her...

Tonight while I was trying to fall asleep, a thought occured to me. I had just remembered how I felt when I was a youth minister. I remember feeling a huge pressure to make sure that I was living a certain way. I wanted to make sure that I didn't make any mistakes or slip ups. And I don't think this was living fake, I seriously and genuinely didn't want to do anything wrong, that would make myself look bad, or the church look bad, or God look bad. However, during this time, I felt very hypersensitive to everything that I could possibly do wrong. And so then I felt a need to have "freedom to make mistakes." And so somewhere along the way, I glorified this need to have freedom to make mistakes. Because we all make mistakes and we all mess up. And God meets us where we are at. And that's a great thing. So the argument was, "why waste so much time trying to live up to a standard when God should just meet me where I am?" (All of this: in the name of "being real") So in some ways, my thoughts led to action and conversation. I embraced a new freedom. However, in that freedom. I made some mistakes. I do this anyway. Yet the difference was, I was embracing these mistakes. Let mistakes define who I am.

Now that I live on my own, and I don't answer to anyone but God and myself. I think that I have learned: I hate making mistakes. Why do I need freedom to mess up when messing up seems to really suck? I'm not talking about taking chances or risks and trying new things. I am talking about riding the proverbial fence on some things and being close to some "edge" while trying to live in this phase of "being real" before God. I have learned that we are not supposed to make mistakes. But why not?

I have been reading some biographies lately. Trying to get inspired. In an unlikely place, I read that Queen Latifah was asked what one of her biggest challenges was in being a celebrity. She said that she "can't mess up. Everyone is watching." I immediately thought, well what's wrong with messing up? Everyone messes up. Yes, we do. and God meets us where we're at, so it's ok, right?

However, I was thinking about that girl. and then a thought came to me. What if instead of trying to have God meet me where I am at; that I actually move towards God? What if I tried to increase my chances of encountering God in every day circumstances. What would my life be like? How would it be different? I wouldn't be so prideful about messing up then. My life with God recently has been like with the first semester with the girl. Just going through my routine and if I so happen to encounter God, then great! But what about when the semester changes? What about when life happens? and it's more difficult? Do I just continue to do things the way I want to? Not caring about the outcome? With the girl, I didn't. I changed my routine and habits so that I could see her again. Why don't I do this with God?

I wonder how things would have been different with the girl if I had openly and honestly just come out and told her that I wanted to be with her at all times. That would have been wild. Then I'd really have to actively pursue her. That's a step up from just organized happenstance. I might even have to call her and/or walk with her to different places. Way too purposeful right? Why don't I do this? with God?

Killing me softly with kindness

2007-01-22T17:56:00.000-05:00

It's Monday!
Well, I have had an okay weekend. I had to work most of the weekend. However, I did have Sunday off. So I got to see the football games. (Thanks to the Colts who answered my hit on Tom Brady.)

So HEROES is coming back to TV tonight! I am so very excited. My excitement equals my 24 excitement if not surpasses it. I wish everyone could check this show out. Definitely go to their website and catch up!

In the past week or so, I have been hearing the phrase "Kill them with kindness." What do you think that means? In context, it seems to be talking about when someone is treating you wrongly, then you have to be as kind to them as you can. Or "kill them with kindness." I guess this is in hope that people will see the error of their ways. I know that at Applebees, some of the servers are trying to use this tactic. I have seen some of the guests complain or act a certain way to the servers and the servers try to "kill them with kindness."

Here's what Proverbs 20:21-22 says-

If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;
if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.

In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head,
and the LORD will reward you.

I wonder what that phrase means "heap burning coals on his head." And I think it's interesting to think of someone else as your enemy. Or on the other hand, I could be someone else's enemy. I have not thought of enemies in a long time. Some of this is on my mind, because I see so much of it at the restaurant. And also, I think someone tried to "kill me with kindness" the other day. It's very disarming, and you think it's all cool. And then you think "oh, this person must be really pissed." Actually it happened to me twice recently. "Kill them" maybe that's what they really wanted to do to me. You can kind of feel the vibe of the conversation even when they are trying to be "kind." But are they really being kind? Hmm...

Anyway, just thinking out loud.

Only different in your mind

2007-01-15T01:06:00.000-05:00

I miss the moments like this one. I can just sit here and listen to music in the dark. I did this so often at home. I did so much of my best thinking in these times. I remember that if someone were to call me or if I were to call them during this time, I had great conversations. Or great times of prayer. I'm not saying that I want THOSE times back. I just remember them and how they are a lot like this moment.

Anyway, today was a good day. I went to a different church today. One of my new friends was part of the worship service. So some of us went to support him. That was fun. I met a bunch of other people too. Of course, later I watched the season premiere of 24. Unbelievable.

It's been good in 2007 to be somewhat more social. I think that has been a struggle with me in the past few years since college. Maybe even during college; I don't know. I seem to recall having to wait for just the right opportunity to go out and do whatever. Or waiting for a concert or something. I was remarking today with some friends about the joy of being around people! I had to catch myself, because I was wondering what I was talking about. Right now, working at the restaurant; I am always around people and always having to talk to people or interact, whether it is my co-workers or with customers/guests. So I think I am noticing that I need to actually take some time to remember how to act in front of people. Or remember how to talk to people. It's been a while. Before this, my full time job was mainly deal with people on the Internet and do Internet related things. So it's been nice to get out more for work and for other things.

However, I have gotten comments at work that suggest that I'm too intimidating or that I come across in a way that is "too intense." This isn't my intent at all. I guess I should use this time in order to relearn how to be friendly. I know that if people got to know me; they might see me as friendly. But what if they don't have time to get to know me? Am I using my encounters to portray what I want to portray? And this isn't a "being fake" or "being real" type of thing. I just want to work on myself as a person.

Never in '07 is still a success. I am pleased on that.

I was talking to a friend about my theme for the year, Run For It! She thought it was the same thing as Go For It! My idea for Run For It! was basically a reminder for me to not give up and to keep long term goals in mind and also it's a nod to Hebrews 12:1, but the term Go For It seems to imply an attitude of taking more risks and chances. Maybe it means more leaps of faith. More stepping out. Making yourself vulnerable. In either case, I think I am striving for both descriptions. But who knows.

This reminds me that I've been reading these articles and stories from an actor/producer/writer who has an online career course. Well, the stuff has been very inspiring and helpful. However, I think some of the writing is very Buddhist based. This isn't a big problem to me once I realized this. His big deal is changing your mindset because the mind controls all and creates all. I can see where he's going with this, and I think that my mindset can have a great effect on my actions. Taking it a step further though, I know that the mind doesn't control ALL nor did it create ALL. So with my belief in the One that actually does control and create...I think I will be alright. ;)

Again, I ask....Somebody please beat Tom Brady.

My video debut

2007-01-11T16:29:00.000-05:00

For those who haven't seen it yet; if you want to see me in a video...go to www.highergroundslive.com...Find the latest entry called "29 Days Started" and click on either Play Now or Download.

The church from Memphis allowed me to be a part of their latest series. So I was very pleased about it.
http://www.29days.org

Check these lyrics. I love this verse from Pigeon John

I live on the road, a modern day hobo
Trained to eat quick and expect the low blow
Get what you can from a dried up hole
In the land of the lost, cowboys in the sand
And my soul is the coal, and my life is the flame
And it's burning to earn all the lights and the fame
And it's turning to ash every step towards cash
And I'm losing it fast so I mash on the gas
But it's too late
My fate is a broken-hearted freshman even before my first date
And I smile at my call, another yes, yes y'all
With every summer, there's fall
So I just rock in my chair while they rock to the beat
A whole trainload of fresh meat
And it's so sweet how they dream, their young hearts beam
But they really don't know what it means, but they will though...

2007-01-10T10:09:00.000-05:00

I came home very sore last night but I think I can do this job. So no worries. Today I am working the lunch shift for the first time. And then tonight I make my return to Lakeshore. We'll see how that goes.

I am officially endorsing the San Diego Chargers just for one week. So that they can beat the Patriots. After that, we'll see who's left.

Hey, so my plan to go to Chicago is probably going to be put away. Doesn't seem like it makes a lot of sense financially. Some of you agree with me; but you were afraid to tell me so. WHY? We're friends, right? You'd tell me something if you thought I needed to know, wouldn't you?

Be a friend. ;)

2007-01-09T03:27:00.000-05:00

Florida beat Ohio State. What happened?

Anyway, it's another late night/early AM. Monday was my first day at Applebee's. It really wasn't bad. The pace isn't as fast as I thought. Or maybe it was just slow. Either way, I can handle it.

This morning, I went to the Pancake Pantry and celebrated Allyssa's birthday with her and her friends. That was fun. I also went to Dave & Buster's bowling alley. I didn't get to bowl though. That was unfortunate. I like to win.

Comcast cable is the worst cable company with which I have ever been serviced. First their deals are a rip-off right off the bat. Any type of service other than hookups have been slow. The picture will usually scramble during commercials and won't unscramble in time for the show to come back on unless I tweak the TV guide viewer option. It's horrible. I can't wait to drop it. If it weren't for their high speed internet; I wouldn't have any dealings with them. Even that is starting to suck.

Yes, I do feel better.

You ever read something that so deeply resonates with everything you have been thinking and feeling? It's almost as if you could have written the very thing that you read? Maybe you heard a song that you felt like you could have sung or at least written. You realize that the other writer captured exactly what's been on your heart or mind for however long. Yea, that's how I feel right now. You can ask me about it some time. Although, if you have already heard my talk about ideas vs. reality, then you maybe you can skip it. Unless you like that talk. :)

Your perception of reality has a direct effect on your actual reality

Lazy Sunday

2007-01-07T17:44:00.000-05:00

For those interested: Today I went to meet with the Ultimate Frisbee people; but nobody showed up. It was wet out but not raining. I thought that maybe they'd still play. I guess not.

Yesterday, Danielle was in town with her husband so I got to sit and visit with them a bit before they head back to Australia! Check out her husband's music.

Last night I went roller skating with some new friends. I fell down 4 times. Awesome.

My orientation day at Applebee's was on Saturday. So this week I will be training. I hope I can handle it and make lots of money.

MuteMath is touring this week with The Fray. So that's exciting. We'll see what happens next with them.

Nothing else happening.

Why are people against New Year's Resolutions? I have read several blogs where people are against them completely or they say that they "don't believe in them." And then they go ahead and list all of their resolutions and call them something different...why? it's the same thing, isn't it? Is it just a desire to be different? Do we not want to make resolutions because we don't want to break them? Then whatever generic name we had for the resolution; we can just say it wasn't really a resolution or something? I don't know.

Somebody please beat Tom Brady.

Sitting around

2007-01-05T03:56:00.000-05:00

It's another late night. A night without the TV on. Yet, here I am with the computer. I sometimes wonder if I really need a TV and cable and all that. I seem to find a lot of things to watch and/or look at on the internet. And today I discovered the joy of RSS feeds. But we'll see if there really is any joy to be had from them.

Well, I basically sat at home all day. I did what I had to do work wise and then I was just moping around. I watched Episode 2 from Star Wars with the commentary. I love watching DVD commentaries. It's fun to find all the little nuances of the story that you might have missed. Or to hear about technical aspects of a film or performance that you wouldn't otherwise appreciate. Anyway, that was cool.

University of Memphis destroyed Cincinnati today! That's what Karl Ravech said. It was good. I am glad they finally won a game on ESPN this season. So we'll see. I think they can run through the conference and then maybe get the win over Gonzaga and we might have another top seed in the NCAA tournament! But they won't give us a #1 this year. I already know. Not unless they just go undefeated the rest of the way. I am hoping though.

Anyway, we'll see tomorrow if I am motivated enough to actually clean around the apaprtment.

Will I?

2007-01-04T04:13:00.000-05:00

It is after 3am here in Nashville. Yet I am awake. Today was my last day working at the mall. I am glad to be out of there. However, I am thankful that I got to work there for a while. My relationship with FYE has been a good one over the years. They have always hired me whenever I needed a job. It's always been a QUICK hire as well. They have always believed in me and shown that in how they've treated me and how they've spoken to me. So that is good.

I got hired at Applebee's. I don't know if it will be better. I don't know if I'll like it. But I took the job because of the interview. I walked in with the suit on. I met one of the managers and it went well right away. None of those multiple choice personality tests. She actually talked to me and asked me questions. See? Personal touch. It's great. Because there aren't always cut and dry responses. We all know this. What else? She took time out to tell me how impressed she was with me just in an interview. I was hired on the spot. Maybe they were desparate. Who cares. The point is, they believed that I could help the company and they didn't B.S. me and make me jump through a bunch of hoops. That's how an interview should go! I either can help or I can't. Make your decision! Don't waste my time! They stepped out in faith and hired me. So that is good. I was so tired of looking for jobs.

Kind of a divine thing, because it was the 2nd place I applied to. The first was Publix who had a computerized application. Well, as I was at the END of the application; the computer quit on me and it was out of order. The people could only say "Sorry" and that I should come back later in the week! No personal anything. What a waste of time! And it really was. I'm not normally a time-stickler. However, I have just been annoyed with job-hunting. I had forgotten what a stress it had been.

Well some people know that I put it out there that I was raising money to buy a new DJ mixer. But lately, I have just been glad that I could pay rent. So it's fitting that no one actually contributed (except for a nice $20 donation from Caryn. Thank you!) because I probably would have used that money to go towards rent (which I actually did, Caryn. Sorry...and THANK YOU). This has been a trying time for me. I had to actually pick which bills I was going to pay. That has been a new experience for me. So hopefully with this new job I can get caught up I am still working the two part time jobs. So I hope that will continue to go well on both ends. And actually it seems like the mixer price is going down because it wasn't in high demand? I don't know. It's on sale right now. But whatever, maybe some time soon I can work that out.

For those of you who pray, please do so for me.

Much love,
Greg

You Will Keep Your New Year's Resolution

You planning on making a resolution that's smart, attainable, and perfect for where your life is.

Will You Keep Your New Year's Resolution?

Pursuit of...Cookie Dough Bites

2006-12-27T03:45:00.000-05:00

So I went to see Pursuit of Happyness on Monday night. It was very painful to watch because of the story, but I must say that it's really good. I think that Will Smith should get an Oscar for it. Mainly because his character was believable. The movie brought tears to my eyes. No joke.

However, the true story of Christmas night happened at the Concession stand. You see, there is only one snack that I enjoy at the movie theaters: Chocolate Covered Cookie Dough Bites. Now some theaters have them and some don't. It seems like a seasonal thing. I don't know. So I walk to the counter and ask if they have them. They say no. Well, I don't like to make a plan B when I want Cookie Dough Bites; so I was standing there thinking and waiting. I was a half hour early for the movie. So I had some time to decide. So I am looking around and I see a sign that says "We appreciate All of your comments!" And I thought, you know what...I have a comment that this place needs to appreciate: They need to be selling Chocolate Covered Cookie Dough Bites! Let me preface by saying that they weren't sold out. They just didn't carry them; I'd say that this is due to negligence of the true needs and wants of the moviegoers and patrons. So I walk over to the comment box to make a comment. And they are out of comment cards. I still have time before the movie and my appetite isn't going to be satisfied by some other candy, so i walk back to the ticket counter and ask if I can receive a comment card. She said she wouldn't get one in just a minute. Well then it got really busy and I am just standing there. I was talking to a ticket taker named Nate; I told him my concerns and he agreed. He didn't know what their problem was. I didn't know either.
So now this other lady decides that since i've been waiting for 20 minutes; I should be helped so she goes back to the back to find a comment card. A few minutes later, she returns to tell me that they are all out of comment cards. Well I hope it's because people have been exercising their right to request Chocolate Covered Cookie Dough Bites! But she says it was probably a bunch of kids that cleaned them out. I didn't go out of my way to make my case known to some night shift people who didn't share my passion enough to pass this along to a manager; so I took the manager's number down and I am thinking of calling. Anyway, there you have it.

RISK more than others think is safe
CARE more than others think is wise
DREAM more than others think is practical
EXPECT more than others think is possible

New Year's Eve / Run For It!

2006-12-25T13:44:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas everyone!

I am spending some time here in Memphis with family and friends. It's been nice to be away. Seriously, being back here in this house is always therapeutic. Even though, this isn't the house I grew up in; I am already able to recall some good memories. An update: I am still looking for another part time job or maybe even a full time job. I am thankful that FYE was able to hire me right away, but it's somewhat depressing to work so many hours and get such a small check at the end of the week. So the search continues. I am also excited to be a part of the 29 days series at New Hope. That will be fun I hope.

Anyway, my Christmas day tradition usually includes: Going to visit my Grandma and then going to see a movie. Usually will see a movie with a friend. However, I am currently broke. So I don't guess I'll see anything this year. It's unfortunate, because there are several movies out that I am interested in seeing. It will be good to see my Grandma. I hope she's doing well and that she doesn't resent me for not having seen her in a while.

At the end of 2005, I declared that 2006 would be "The Year." Themes help me focus. When I declare a year to be "The Year," it means that I am focusing on being positive and making things work and stretching myself to try new things. I think that I did that in some ways this past year. However, there are a lot of things about the year that I wish I could take back. I absolutely had no clue that I would have experienced all of the things that I did this year. Just a year ago, I was a youth minister and was digging in for a new year with the youth and with youth worship and all kinds of things. Then had an interesting spring of trying to work out a job transition while dealing with the emotional loss of leaving a community while also navigating a long-distance relationship. What will the new year bring? Truth be told, I am very concerned about the immediate future. I am very uneasy. I'm not sure what is wrong. So with that, I must move on. Maybe that should be the new year's theme: Moving on....I can't keep looking back at all of the frustrations of the past. This is from the Message; Hebrews 12:7-13 -

God is educating you; that's why you must never drop out. He's treating you as dear children. This trouble you're in isn't punishment; it's training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God's training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God's holy best. At the time, discipline isn't much fun. It always feels like it's going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it's the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God.
So don't sit around on your hands! No more dragging your feet! Clear the path for long-distance runners so no one will trip and fall, so no one will step in a hole and sprain an ankle. Help each other out. And run for it!

Emphasis was mine. My new theme for 2007: Run for it! Running the race with perseverance.I know that in context, the verse is talking about the "it" being a mature relationship with God. I realize this and I think that this applies also to my earthly situation as well. So, there you have it.

Resolutions. I can't remember what I made last year as a resolution. I think I renewed a previous resolution to take more pictures. I also wanted to always call people or write people back. I'm not sure how I did with that one. I'm just going to brainstorm what I want to see happen with me in the next year.

Don't want to watch a movie or show on TV that I've seen before (This will allow me to either find something new; or do something more productive. This is going to be hard for me, I think)
Want to seriously work with a financial budget (Seems to be so strange to think about now that I have an uncertain income.)
Want to practice and work on more music
Want to exercise more and stay in better shape
Want to be a better encourager

So that's plenty. We'll see how it goes. Some of you know that i've already set goals for the new year. I hope to still be able to attend the convention this summer in Chicago. Keep me in your prayers.